Hostel horrors

IMG_6382So you’re a traveler on a budget. You’re most likely to stay in hostels and this means you have to put up with other travelers. Unfortunately they are not always as considered as you are. Some experiences you’d rather forget about entirely. But look at it this way; when you have a room to yourself again, you’ll appreciate every moment.

Scenario one: the shaking bed, feel the flow
It’s my first night in Australia. I am tired and jet lagged from the long journey. My welcome was slightly different from what I expected. In the middle of the night I woke up. My bed was moving. My sleepy head tried to figure out what was going on. After having concluded I wasn’t on a ship, my mind made the connection. But… It couldn’t be…? O the delights of sleeping in a bunk bed. My roomie downstairs had decided to take a girl home tonight. Their drunk asses just couldn’t make it discreet. My bed was not only moving, but the old thing made squeaky noises that woke up the 6 others in the room as well. Added to that were the moans coming out of my roomie’s bed partner. Luckily one of the guys in the room told them to take it elsewhere. After another couple of minutes they did. Only, that other guy got so turned on, let’s say he turned to himself now.

Scenario two: moans and giggles
Staying in a female only dorm is no guaranty that it stays female only. In a hostel in Melbourne one of the regulars took home a guy. It’s never that attractive being woken up by someone else’s moaning. When the girl realized we were all awake she took it to the bathrooms only to be discovered by the security guard. Embarrassing! Later she was lying in bed and made a phone call. She was calling another guy and inviting him to our room! Luckily this one was already busy. Probably doing some other girl.

Scenario three: where’s my food?
After a long day of sightseeing you come home to the hostel. You’re happy cause you’ve had a great day and can’t wait to start making that delicious meal you’ve been waiting for. You walk to the food storage, open your cooler bag and all you find is an empty package. Damn you stingy backpackers! Couldn’t you steal someone else’s food!

Scenario four: no, I’ll wait
A stay in a hostel is a real test of patience. If you fail, you’re forced to learn a lesson quickly. There are lines everywhere. Waiting at reception to check in or ask your question. Waiting for one of the two showers in the whole  hostel to come available. Or waiting in the queue to use the kitchen. Then you’ve found your spot in the kitchen and there are no pots available. If you have the chance to have a look before booking a hostel do it! There’s nothing worse than a hostel without proper facilities. If you really wanted to wait, you’d call a customer service line.

Scenario five: but… that’s… my… bed…
Hostel room are an unorganized bunch. One day I arrived in New York after midnight. My hostel was the cheapest in town, located in Harlem. With sleepy eyes I climbed the stairs and walked to my room. The place is a mess! It’s full of girls who’ve made this room their temporary home, although it looks more like an exploded walk-in closet. There is stuff everywhere including on the beds, so I ask the girls which bed is free and they clear one for me. In the middle of the night a girl tries to crawl into my bed and we both scream. The hostel has overbooked the room.


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